Yup. It’s a relief, to hear validation of a confusing & painful phenomenon, that I’ve wasted hours of stressed recall & theorizing to understand… bc WE know it IS real; but in the rare occasions I’ve gently tried to unpack it, the close person I’m confiding in dismisses me, & paves over my observations/worries, with their rushed declaration, that I’m somehow misunderstanding or exaggerating, & even spinning unnecessarily dramatic conclusions, from ‘regular’ people’s normal busy lives. I’m oversimplifying, or overthinking or overreacting or definitely misunderstanding…. Then the conversation eventually morphed fully into an inventory of my mistakes, emotional flaws, mental state, health decline etc, & then I feel cranky bc that’s not the talk I was trying to have..
Anyway. I ramble, sorry. I’m relieved & validated, to read your take. That’s why cancer can be so lonely- I walk the same rooms with the same people, but our moment to moment experiences, perceptions, & thoughts are deeply changed. they can’t possibly conceive HOW changed, so are quick to discount concerns they don’t clearly recognize (like a bff cancer ghosting me- they will jump to rationalize others’ behavior before concede something that messed up is happening. Bc they care. But, it’s still lonely, feeling your reality repeatedly denied, wondering if I am even my own reliable narrator
Yes, I’m always questioning how much is me being too self absorbed in my own stuff and/or imagining things because something is off just a little bit in my cognitive abilities. But just because we’re being paranoid doesn’t mean that it’s all on us. I saw a meme that I need to write about soon- the idea that no one would expect someone with a broken leg to run a personal best in a marathon so don’t expect gold medal behavior from folks with brain trauma. We definitely still can “run marathons” but it comes with challenges that some just don’t understand. I guess I rambled off topic a bit too. 🤣
Yup. Metastatic breast cancer is a long haul and there are people who just can’t hang with the constantly changing treatments and side effects and it not being “over”.
This isn't greatest hits, but it's possibly the concert of his I attended. It was shot with a potato: https://youtu.be/V6x3C3s8NKU
Yup. It’s a relief, to hear validation of a confusing & painful phenomenon, that I’ve wasted hours of stressed recall & theorizing to understand… bc WE know it IS real; but in the rare occasions I’ve gently tried to unpack it, the close person I’m confiding in dismisses me, & paves over my observations/worries, with their rushed declaration, that I’m somehow misunderstanding or exaggerating, & even spinning unnecessarily dramatic conclusions, from ‘regular’ people’s normal busy lives. I’m oversimplifying, or overthinking or overreacting or definitely misunderstanding…. Then the conversation eventually morphed fully into an inventory of my mistakes, emotional flaws, mental state, health decline etc, & then I feel cranky bc that’s not the talk I was trying to have..
Anyway. I ramble, sorry. I’m relieved & validated, to read your take. That’s why cancer can be so lonely- I walk the same rooms with the same people, but our moment to moment experiences, perceptions, & thoughts are deeply changed. they can’t possibly conceive HOW changed, so are quick to discount concerns they don’t clearly recognize (like a bff cancer ghosting me- they will jump to rationalize others’ behavior before concede something that messed up is happening. Bc they care. But, it’s still lonely, feeling your reality repeatedly denied, wondering if I am even my own reliable narrator
Yes, I’m always questioning how much is me being too self absorbed in my own stuff and/or imagining things because something is off just a little bit in my cognitive abilities. But just because we’re being paranoid doesn’t mean that it’s all on us. I saw a meme that I need to write about soon- the idea that no one would expect someone with a broken leg to run a personal best in a marathon so don’t expect gold medal behavior from folks with brain trauma. We definitely still can “run marathons” but it comes with challenges that some just don’t understand. I guess I rambled off topic a bit too. 🤣
In lieu of a profound statement, here's what I have: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o2NRSd-MXlU
I truly appreciate this.
Nice job.
Yup. Metastatic breast cancer is a long haul and there are people who just can’t hang with the constantly changing treatments and side effects and it not being “over”.
This is one of your best blogs. They are all good but this one really hit home.