Ten Songs for Healing and Moving Forward When Trapped in a Shit Storm

My last post on the jargon cancer patients use was my first to really garner any attention and I had lots of people reach out to help on future posts related to cancer quality of life. It feels like I really struck a nerve… in a good way.

In case you missed it, you can read that fairly long post here.

But I didn’t start this Substack to only talk about cancer stuff… just mostly (insert rimshot here). It’s really important for me to express how us cancer patients are all really more than a diagnosis, even if it shapes a good chunk of our lives.

My original concept for this post was going to be entirely music-related, but I’ve decided to alter it slightly to be geared towards anyone going through a heavy time. It just so happens that it could include any one of the many phases of the cancer “experience” <*cough vomit*>.

Despite my own personal love of some heavy and aggressive music which can be very therapeutic, I’m keeping it mellow and introspective with this list. The same is true for upbeat and danceable music. The songs listed here are mostly for the onset stage of the shit, whereas more energetic songs are for the maintenance stage

Also, this is not a Top 10 list or some listicle clickbait BS. I could easily add way more tunes, but this is a good starter pack for someone looking for help. And no, I won’t be forcing you to watch any video of my ugly crying or cringey dancing like I did in this post.

Instead, I’ll be focusing on songs that helped me calm and refocus my weary soul when life got a little blurry. Hopefully, this list can do the same for others. Anyway, let’s get to it.

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Bill Evans “Peace Piece” (1958)

This improvisation is easily my most-listened-to recording of the past five years. Early on, I was so sensitive to sounds that I couldn’t listen to anything much louder. But it’s much more than that for me. On its surface, it sounds like a subtle reworking of Satie’s “Gymnopédie No. 1”, but that really only holds up if you’re looking at the sheet music and over-obsessed with music theory. “Peace Piece” not only shifts tempo to bring several levels of emotion out, but also gradually veers into other melodic themes- many of which are technically discordant, but don’t sound like it. That’s about as much of an apology for finding “peace” as I can think of- realizing that not all conflict is bad and can be transformed into beauty. I’ve listened to this song at least 300 times and hear something new each time. It always calms me at the very least and gets me started in the right direction.

Aimee Mann “Save Me” (1999)

This is perhaps the most commercially successful song on this list in addition to being nominated for both an Oscar and a Grammy. And honestly, I never paid much attention to it as a source of healing until I reached out on social media to a bunch of cancer patients several years back asking for songs in this mold. I got literally dozens of responses naming this song. And after diving deep into its intent, I realized that it’s ultimately realizing that we all have a need to ask for help- but not in a victim way- just an acknowledgement that we need help and that there’s no shame in that. This has been one of the hardest lessons for me to learn personally, but one that has made everything so much easier. I’ve since adopted it into my own rotation whenever I’m down. Let’s just not speak of how it lost the Oscar to the Phil Collins cartoon monkey love song from Tarzan. Does anybody even remember that song?

NOTE FOR THE HARDCORE FANS: To check out a video about this song that I did with a very good #stage4needsmore breast cancer patient friend (the great Ilene Kaminsky) then click here. It’s only mildly cringey and more geared towards the cancer “experience” but it’s worth checking out if you enjoy over-analyzing songs as much as I do.

Alex the Astronaut “I Think You’re Great” (2020)

Next up on my list, is another seemingly simple song. But instead of melodic themes like with “Peace Piece”, it’s the lyrics that gradually tell a story of finding beauty in emotional crisis. It’s free of any judgement of missteps or things that one can no longer do. It’s just pure acceptance. To me, this song states that no one is truly alone. And if someone else really is without a support network, it makes me want to volunteer for that role. All we need is a little love and encouragement. To me, that is a massive boost in beginning of any turmoil to help manage it.

I wanna say that I think you're great
Your voice starts to break
You say "Everything's changing"
It's all complicated, movers and shakers
The unending race, "I feel like I'm fading"
But you don't always have to smile
You don't only have to cry at night
When tears stain your face
You're not feeling brave
I'll be there again and again
'Cause I think you're great

Michael Kiwanuka “Love & Hate” (2016)

If Alex the Astronaut is telling you that you are not alone and to accept yourself, Micahael Kiwanuka is reassuring that you can handle this shit. Like most of his work, it sounds both contemporary and old, ready for any era to deliver its message and emotion. And oh so much emotion.

I first heard this song late one restless night when I was in the ICU following brain surgery. It brought tears to my eyes then and likely played a role in keeping me alive. It still makes me cry on most listens when I pay attention to the lyrics. It makes me feel not just stronger, but determined.

Alice Coltrane “Journey in Satchidinanda” (1971)

For those who don’t know much of Alice Coltrane, she was married to John Coltrane though she was already established as a rising force within the world of jazz before they ever met. An accomplished pianist, she was a pioneer in the genre of “spiritual jazz” and is cited as a primary influence on John Coltrane’s “A Love Supreme”. In short, she’s a badass.

And this work, featuring one of my all-time jazz faves Pharaoh Sanders, is absolutely a masterpiece. At the time of its release, it was lauded for how it merged many worlds- Eastern ideology, Western music theory, complex orchestration, the emotions of transformation, meditation, loss, and defiance all in a fairly accessible form.

The value I’ve found in it (and feel could help many others) is how it begs you to look inwardly and think while making you feel like determined to take on any challenge.

Yusef Lateef “The Plum Blossom” (1961)

Here’s one by another jazz fave, Yusef Lateef. While other jazz artists in his sphere focused on playing as many notes as possible and finding harmonies in the outer reaches of chords and modes, Yusef kept things to as few notes as possible played in different ways and tonalities. On this track, his sax doesn’t even sound like a typical sax and his breath work is as fundamental to its souls as anything else. It is a meditative celebration of the positive forces we need to keep us going.

George Harrison “Beware of Darkness” (1970)

If the previous song was about absorbing positivity, this one tackles the other side of the equation. It is not a denial of negativity, but of allowing the illusions of negativity from distracting from one living life. The idea of all positivity all the time is ridiculous on every level. I have a ton to say about well-meaning people trying to force it upon others in rough times but will save that for another time. Until then, just enjoy the genius of the most talented Beatle.

The Kinks “Better Things” (1981)

This song is like a cheerleader, rooting you on as your focus may wane. It’s reminding the listen to keep going. Keep your eyes on the prize. Get after the change you long for. The next 24 hours could be the best of your life.

I also love that this song marked the 3rd or 4th comeback of a band many thought would have been long gone 15 years later, but The Kinks just wouldn’t die. While they have since disbanded, the only thing really in their way was themselves… namely the Davies brothers. I think there’s a lesson in that too.

Colin Hay “Waiting For My Real Life to Begin” (1994)

Speaking of someone who won’t die, there’s this guy, though there was a much longer gap between periods of success. Colin Hay was once in the (briefly) most popular band on the planet, Men At Work. They imploded due to addiction and egos. But Colin just kept going as he sobered up, playing small clubs with just an acoustic guitar and stories about how he used to be something special. Gradually he’s built up an entirely new fan base as a middle-aged man who sings with the education of a an who has lost most of his ego but not his confidence to express his truth. The lyrics taken at face value are about a foolish person expecting things to just happen, but the tone in his voice tell the real story of how the person singing is laughing at his own foolishness. This song chokes me up every time and gets me making a to-do list in my mind.

When I awoke today, suddenly nothing happened

But in my dreams, I slew the dragon

And down this beaten path, and up this cobbled lane

I'm walking in my old footsteps, once again

And you say, just be here now

Forget about the past, your mask is wearing thin

Let me throw one more dice I know that I can win

I'm waiting for my real life to begin

Any minute now, my ship is coming in

I'll keep checking the horizon

And I'll check my machine, there's sure to be that call

It's gonna happen soon, soon, soon

It's just that times are lean

And you say, be still my love

Open up your heart, let the light shine in

Don't you understand I already have a plan

I'm waiting for my real life to begin

Stevie Wonder “If Your Love Cannot Be Moved” (2005)

While this song came out thirty years after Wonder’s utter musical domination of the 1970s, I feel it ranks up there with any of his “Golden Era” releases. I almost did not include it in this batch as it’s on the danceable side, but it’s not a dance floor vibe. This is more emotional. You are being called into spiritual action.

This song at its root is about pleading for self-accountability which I feel is the final phase of this 10-step plan I’ve just presented (and yes, there is a logic and instruction to the sequence order). You need to have the courage to call yourself on your own bullshit. Not in a condemning way, but with an eye to finding a better version of yourself. Will you view life’s tragedies as more of an opportunity than a roadblock? Will you try to do it on your own? Will you allow the work you do to survive this only benefit you or do you see the world around you? These are important considerations for us all.

Got any suggestions for future music posts like this? Just want to share your own picks for others to check out? Comment below!